Overcoming Insecurities and Comparison as a Woman
- Morgan Takae
- 3 minutes ago
- 9 min read
As I contemplated what the month of February would bring to the Takae Talks Blog, I was stumped for a while. February is a month that we know to be surrounded and filled with love, often romantic and sometimes platonic. There’s a major push this month, in stores, on social media, towards buying, giving, and supporting love. It’s in our marketing, our conversations, and unconsciously on our minds. Two years ago, I used February to delve into the complexities of being a Christian single woman, which later led to my very first Takae Talks event, the Blossom in Singleness Bruch that took place in July 2024. Knowing the impact of the series truly inspired me, and I started thinking about what this month, February 2026, should be about.
“As a Woman” Blog Series
If I’m being honest, I’m tired of talking about singleness, and I’m not yet ready to talk about relationships – but there’s one topic, I feel particularly empowered to speak to you about, and it’s learning to love yourself “As a Woman.” For February 2026, the series I am delving into is “As a Woman,” which is covering four different topics, including this blog, that in breaking free and breaking out of these particular things, we can learn and fully enjoy God’s love for us, and our love for ourselves as a woman.
A quote that I so much love is “The fact that I am a woman does not make me a different kind of Christian, but the fact that I am a Christian makes me a different kind of woman.” – Elisabeth Elliot
God created you with the intent for you to be a different kind of woman! As a Woman, we face many challenges, and inevitably, every woman faces insecurities and comparisons at one point or another.
Over the past few months, I’ve noticed deep insecurities have begun to surface that I have in myself. As I sat and reflected on who I am and where I’m going, I noticed just how inadequate I felt in myself because of character flaws that are so innate to my very being. I rededicated my life to Christ seven years ago now, and that process led to God undoing and restoring layers upon layers of my character, identity, belief systems, and relationships. The deeper I have gotten with God, the more I realize that the job is never done. I can’t “arrive.” Instead, when one layer heals, God will begin dealing with the next, which is often a deeper, more nuanced, and painful layer.
There’s one word that comes to mind, and it’s “becoming.” As Christians, we never stop becoming. God is constantly transforming and reforming us. His work simply is not yet finished – it’s continual, until we meet Him in Heaven.
In understanding that the work is continuous, it’s still hard to navigate the imperfections of who I am now. I still have to face myself in the mirror every day, and in facing myself, I see my insecurities, not only outward, but also inward. And in seeing other people, it feels normal to compare what’s wrong in me to what’s right in them. Can you relate?
A famous saying that we often hear is, “Comparison is the thief of Joy.” Although I agree, I must preface that comparison isn’t the reason you lack joy, but rather a side effect of it. Truly, if you wrestle with comparison, you ultimately have trouble finding contentment. The great Apostle Paul said in Philippians 4:12-13 ICB, “I know how to live when I am poor. And I know how to live when I have plenty. I have learned the secret of being happy at any time in everything that happens. I have learned to be happy when I have enough to eat and when I do not have enough to eat. I have learned to be happy when I have all that I need and when I do not have the things I need.” This translation is literally the children’s Bible, but so powerful in grasping understanding because God called us to be happy, joyful, and content regardless of what we do and do not have!
Reflection Questions on Insecurities and Comparison
To tackle the root of your comparison issue, there are a few reflection questions you should ask:
What specific area of my life am I comparing to others?
How long has this area of my life been a place of insecurity?
Is this area of my life one that I can change in my power? If so, what am I going to do about it? If not, how am I going to live with it?
As you reflect, be honest with yourself. It's okay if there's more than one area that yu struggle in comparison with. All comparison is rooted in insecurity. And all insecurity is rooted in a perceived deficiency. It’s a kind of mentality: “They have something I want and don’t have – the degree, the relationship, the car, the friend group, the career, the outfits, the followers, the beauty, and so on.
I believe the most powerful thing for a woman to identify is why she wants what she wants. There are some things that I wanted in times prior for the wrong reasons, and if I received them, they could have done great detriment to my purpose and future. Perhaps God is causing a particular thing in your life to tarry to reveal your heart’s motives – or maybe it’s not destined for you at all. It can be difficult to cope with God's no.
“By his divine power, God has given us everything we need for living a godly life. We have received all of this by coming to know I’m, the one who called us to himself by means of his marvelous glory and excellence.” – 2 Peter 1:3 NLT
The Hard Truth about Insecurity
A hard truth to grasp is that you have everything you need, even if you don’t have all you want. God can discern our needs and wants, in addition to the timing of releasing them.
It’s possible to be happy for someone else who God blesses with the exact thing you want. Although hard at times, still very possible!
As a Woman, there are some things that all of us want. A sense of purpose, a stable career, a preferred means of transportation, a cozy home, a beautiful relationship, and an undeniable fashion and beauty sense. We all want what’s portrayed as the ‘perfect life’. But even what we deem as perfect or ideal has its fair share of troubles as well.
I’d like to help you tackle your insecurity, which leads to comparison through the Word.
In the Bible, it says, “The LORD directs the steps of the godly. He delights in every detail of their lives.” – Psalms 37:23 NLT
It’s God’s desire and ultimate plan to delight in every detail of our lives – even the ones we really don’t prefer. Although not everything we experience is God-ordained, everything we encounter is God-allowed. We know this because even Satan has to ask permission in His dealings with God’s people. (Luke 22:31)
Eight Ways to Overcome Insecurities and Comparison as a Woman
Understand that you are not alone.
It’s easy to perceive your desire as a lonely one – as though wanting what you want is an oddity. But it’s not. The truth is, we all desire something, and it’s 100% likely someone else has it. However, we must caution against idolatry, which tends to creep into our hearts when we raise our desires above God’s will, way, and love! “Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and live righteously, and he will give you everything you need.” – Matthew 6:33 NLT
Desire God’s will above your own.
God, what if I don’t want what you want for me? I’m sure that you’ve asked that question as well in one way or another. It’s hard to face reality, especially when you are so convinced that your way is the right way. Choose to desire God’s will, and He will begin to align your heart and will accordingly. “Take delight in the LORD, and he will give you your heart’s desires.” – Psalms 37:4 NLT
Repent of your sins.
Believe it or not, insecurity and comparison always lead us into the sins of covetousness and lust. These are the two sins where we want what someone else has, or what we can’t have. God never desires for us to covet or lust after someone else’s blessings or life – He gave us our own, and to Him they are good! “You must not covet your neighbor’s house. You must not covet your neighbor’s wife, male or female servant, ox or donkey, or anything else that belongs to your neighbor.” – Exodus 20:17 NLT
Restart with God.
It’s never too late, nor are you ever too far gone to restart with God. Restarting with God practically looks like surrender. Come to Him in honesty and vulnerability and allow Him to search your heart to identify any impure motives, and uproot all hidden things that are continually causing you to stumble into insecurity and comparison. “Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. Point out anything in me that offends you, and lead me along the path of everlasting life.” – Psalms 139:23-24 NLT
Pinpoint places of insecurity that are in your control.
Insecurity has a way of making you feel stuck, as though there’s no ability to change the very thing you don’t like. You can change many things that are insecurities. It’s even possible to achieve some of the things that you are comparing yourself to someone else for. All you have to do is identify places of insecurity, and then write down ways to fix, resolve, work around, or get rid of them. You have more power than you think! “Throw off your old sinful nature and your former way of life, which is corrupted by lust and deception. Instead, let the Spirit renew your thoughts and attitudes.” – Ephesians 4:22-23 NLT
Forgive yourself for falling into the traps of insecurity and comparison.
This may be the hardest thing to do. Insecurity and comparison can cause you to do some very foolish things, like lose relationships, talk down to others, and self-sabotage. Forgive yourself, and let go of the past behavior. Remember that all things are new! Once you repent, God forgives you – now forgive yourself. Also, walk in forgiveness with others. Perhaps see if there’s someone you may have hurt or offended along the way that can really use your apology. “This means that anyone who belongs to Christ has become a new person. The old life is gone; a new life has begun!” – 2 Corinthians 5:17 NLT
Get accountability.
Accountability can help you stay free after God has broken you free! Everyone needs someone. Open up to someone about your struggles, insecurities, and shortcomings. Allow yourself to be vulnerable so that you can receive help. Ideally, this person will be an individual who loves you and can offer you support and godly advice, like a mentor, church leader, or elder. Go to someone who cannot only hear you, but also offer godly counsel as well, so that you can grow and be challenged! “Confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The earnest prayer of a righteous person has great power and produces wonderful results.” – James 5:17 NLT
Refuse to go back!
It’s easier to break free than it is to maintain freedom. Once you are free from countless insecurities and comparisons, you must decide to stay free! God can help you break through, but by the renewing of your mind and commitment to His way and will, you can maintain your freedom. Decide in your heart that you aren’t going back to the old way of living, being, and perceiving. Insecurity and comparison are a perception issue. Adopt the mind of Christ and a heart posture of contentment, then allow God to do the rest! Surely, as He wills, what you desire will come to pass! “Keep creating in me a clean heart. Fill me with pure thoughts and holy desires, ready to please you.” – Psalms 51:10 TPT
God has a perfect plan and design for your life. But it’s possible that lately you’ve been getting in the way with your agenda. Make room for God, and allow Him to settle in your life. Give Him space to show just how God He truly is! He makes no mistakes. Overcoming insecurities and comparison requires ample amounts of patience, perseverance, and persistence. It may not happen in a day. The thoughts will still come. The insecurities will seem inseparable – but God will surely make a way and break you free. Allow your confidence to be in Him because He alone is faithful!
Hold onto this scripture –
“Let my passion for life be restored, tasting joy in every breakthrough you bring to me. Hold me close to you with a willing spirit that obeys whatever you say.” Psalms 51:12 TPT
