His Greatest Heartbreak
Have I abandoned my first love? This is a question I grapple within my heart in moments of reflection. I ask myself this often, one way or another. Is God truly pleased with me? It’s so hard to keep my focus on the King of Kings when other “kings” have taken the throne of my heart. It’s easy for other idols to fill the space where only Christ should reign, and yet I always come back to the question, “Lord, have I left you?” I'm struck that the Bible often reminds us Believers that the Lord would never leave or forsake us. And yet, how many times have we left Him? How many times has my heart led me astray, and I find myself longing for another king because the one designed to rule over my world isn’t delegating in a way that’s seemingly pleasing to me?
On Sunday, this scripture rang in my ear: “But I have this against you, that you have abandoned the love you had at first.” – Revelation 2:4 ESV
I’m forever humbled by how frail our faith can become when we are disconnected from our first love. It’s almost instant that other things creep into our hearts – ruling authorities such as fear, anxiety, depression, confusion, isolation, and the list goes on. When the King of Kings isn’t reigning, inevitably something else will, and it’s never an authority worth surrendering to.
Abandonment is slow. It looks like preferring to binge a show over reading your Bible. Picking up your phone before you pray. Coming later and later to your weekly church services. Refusing to fellowship with other Believers throughout the week. Eating at the times you should be fasting. Complaining about those faith-filled moments you once longed for. Abandonment is gradual.
Upon looking up the word Abandon in the dictionary, there’s one listed definition that stands out: “to yield (oneself) without restraint or moderation; give (oneself) over to natural impulses, usually without self-control.”
Whenever we abandon our first love, we are yielding to our flesh. When Adam and Eve sinned in the garden, they gave themselves over to natural impulses without self-control. Our lack of self-control and self-seeking desires will always lead us to the place of abandonment.
“So when the woman saw that the tree was good for food, that it was pleasant to the eyes, and a tree desirable to make one wise, she took of its fruit and ate. She also gave to her husband with her, and he ate.” – Genesis 3:6 NKJV
Sometimes, what we view as pleasurable is leading us further and further from the One who desires to be our greatest pleasure and delight.
May our heart’s cry be, “Lord, help me to fall deeper and deeper in love with you. May my love and passion for you overwhelm me in the loveliest ways possible!”
His greatest heartbreak is when we stray away.
His greatest heartbreak is when we deliberately choose everything else over Him.
His greatest heartbreak is when we ignore His promptings.
God is so near to every one of us. His love for us is endless, and His greatest delight is for us to simply spend time with Him. Although so many things in life and the various moments of our day drag us further from our King. It can feel as though the whole world is fighting for our attention.
As I write this blog, I’m writing from a place of vulnerability and truth. I know what it’s like to stray away. I also know what it’s like to come back. Sometimes it was only a day or two; other times, it could have lasted for weeks. But I strongly believe that His greatest heartbreak, above everything else, is when we refuse to draw near again.
“Move your heart closer and closer to God, and he will come even closer to you. But make sure you cleanse your life, you sinners, and keep your heart pure and stop doubting.” – James 4:8 TPT
In the scripture, James 4:8, we learn the steps to draw nearer to God again. To accompany these key pointers, I’d also encourage you to reflect on the questions for each step. I strongly believe that we often, as Christians, know what to do. But sometimes we don’t do it, not out of sheer disobedience or confusion; rather, we haven’t taken long enough to reflect on our actions and determine what a suitable path of obedience looks like!
How to Draw Near to God
Move Your Heart Closer
What things, emotions, attitudes, mindsets, or people drew your heart away from God?
What are the last instructions God spoke to your heart, and what would obedience require of you?
What habits can you induct and strengthen to intentionally draw near to God in your day-to-day life?
Embrace His Presence
How consistent are you in your daily devotion, church attendance, and service?
What does the presence of God truly feel like?
How can you intentionally embrace the presence of God in the mundane aspects of your life?
Cleanse Your Life
What are the necessary actions you need to take to get rid of sins, vices, and addictions that are keeping you far from God?
Have you received God’s forgiveness and extended it to yourself as well?
Who do you need to be surrounded by that will help encourage you to live a holy and clean life?
Keep Your Heart Pure
Who are you harboring unforgiveness for in your heart?
Are you feeling broken, frustrated, upset, or confused by God’s actions?
How can you better, more healthily approach negative emotions and encounters to promote purity of heart?
Stop Doubting
In what places of your life where faith is required has doubt crept in?
Do you still believe that God will fulfill His promise to you in regard to the prayer you are waiting for Him to answer?
How can you increase your faith in God?
I’ve shared immensely about God’s greatest heartbreak concerning us, but I believe we have a great heartbreak as well. Our greatest heartbreak is unanswered prayers. It’s in those moments that our faith is stretched the furthest, and we are grasping for all the hope we can find. Often, in these excruciating moments of what appears to be permanently unanswered prayers, we break the heart of God because our discouragement breeds frustration, pain, confusion, and distance.
I want you who are reading this to know that God is near. Drawing near to God again requires courage, maybe even more than you think you have. But whenever you are near to Him, you are on the brink of transformation. God hasn’t left you. He hasn’t abandoned you. In fact, He never left! We can lose sight of Him; we can move and go a distance. Though God remains. Consistent, holy, reliable, and ready to receive us – that’s our God, our King of Kings.
Today, I want you to pray this prayer with me, and invite God to sit on the throne of your heart again:
Dear Lord, thank you for speaking to me today. Thank you for never leaving nor forsaking me. I come to you broken, confused, and desiring to encounter your presence again. Lord, I pray that you’d help me to draw near to you. May I encounter the glory of your presence like never before. Breathe new life and hope into me. God, please touch the areas of my heart and soul that remain in darkness. Invade my life with your light. And God, please forgive me. Forgive me for breaking your heart by going a distance and neglecting your presence. Help me, Lord, to not commit this sin again. Help me, God, and dethrone every other idol that remains in my heart. Today, and every day, I invite you to be my King of Kings, and Lord of Lords. God, have your way, and Holy Spirit, lead me! In Jesus’ Mighty Name I pray, Amen!
Scriptures to Hold Onto
“For the LORD your God is God of gods and Lord of lords, the great God, mighty and awesome, who shows no partiality nor takes a bribe.” – Deuteronomy 10:17 NKJV
“So put to death the sinful, earthly things lurking within you. Have nothing to do with sexual immorality, impurity, lust, and evil desires. Don’t be greedy, for a greedy person is an idolater, worshiping the things of this world.” – Colossians 3:5 NLT
“Who, then, is allowed to ascend the mountain of YAHWEH? And who has the privilege of entering into God’s Holy Place? Those who are clean—whose works and ways are pure, whose hearts are true and sealed by the truth, those who never deceive, whose words are sure.” – Psalms 24:3-4 TPT
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